Category Archives for Blog

I am an avid reader, but I don’t enjoy books that I find soul-crushing, insufferably boring, or unnecessarily long.

My book recommendation list, however, is highly curated, bursting with books that I found inspiring, uplifting, empowering, surprising, or enlightening!

While I am enjoying my annual sojourn to Beaver Island, Michigan, I’m sharing a few of my favorite reads this year. (To see last year’s list, click here.)

Fiction for the feels:

• Lady Tremaine by Rachel Hochhauser
• The Calamity Club by Kate Stockett
• The Lion Women of Tehran by Marian Kamali
• Theo of Golden by Allen Levi [thank you, Greg, for gifting me this gem!]
• My Friends by Fredrick Backman
• Heartwood by Amity Gaige
• Tomorrow, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
• The Only Woman in the Room by Marie Benedict
• The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon

When you want to be a better mentor and human being:

• The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More by Jefferson Fisher
• The Stoic Challenge: A Philosopher’s Guide to Becoming Tougher, Calmer, and More Resilient by William B. Irvine
• Are You Mad at Me? How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You by Meg Josephson, LCSW
• Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves by Alison Wood Brooks
• What to Make of a Life: Cliffs, Fog, Fires and the Self-Knowledge Imperative by Jim Collins

When you want to lead like an entrepreneur:

• Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More than They Expect by Will Guidara
• The Customer Success Economy: Why Every Aspect of Your Business Model Needs a Paradigm Shift by Nick Mehta and Allison Pickens [thank you, Lesa, for this recommendation!]
• Who Not How: The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamwork by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
• Write a Must-Read: Craft a Book that Changes Lives – Including Your Own by AJ Harper
• Put Your Ass Where Your Heart Wants to Be by Steven Pressfield

Happy reading! All book recommendations welcome!

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

He deploys a simple yet powerful, albeit counterintuitive, concept: the business is the Guide and the customer is the Hero. 

The Guide’s job is not to save the day. The Guide understands the Hero’s problem and helps the Hero solve their problem.

Miller delineated his methodology in the 7-part StoryBrand framework:

1. a character (the Hero)
2. has a problem
3. meets a Guide
4. who shows them a path forward
5. and calls them to action
6. helping them avoid failure
7. and ultimately achieve success

On a recent podcast episode, Miller took a departure from his standard marketing topics to apply the Guide-and-Hero concept to build connection.

Miller explored how to turn everyday conversations into magnetic, trust-building exercises where people feel seen, heard, and valued.

In our incessant quest to be liked, we tend to overvalue competence and overlook the value of connection.

This approach results in talking far more than we listen, dazzling others with our amazing stories. Our conversational partner doesn’t feel valued and understood. They feel ignored and talked at.

Miller suggests one question to help us prioritize connection over competence:

“What does this person need from me right now?”

This question shifts our stance from look-at-me to what-about-you, positioning us as the Guide and our conversational partner as the Hero.

As the Guide, we can help our Hero meet their needs, which builds connection and strengthens trust.

Miller argues that everyone in every conversation needs something: affirmation, information, validation, solution, wisdom, encouragement, inspiration…

How do we know what they need? We can ask. We can listen. We can observe. We can guess.

The point is not to be right about what they need; it’s to be curious about their needs. By entering the conversation as the Guide, we can discover how to support the Hero, not impress them with our resume.

Similarly, in our mentoring relationships, the Mentor is the Guide, and the Mentee is the Hero.

As the Mentor, our job is to understand a Mentee’s problem, show them a path forward, prompt them to act, and help them get somewhere they couldn’t easily get to alone.

When trust is the gateway and the linchpin, approach each interaction by asking, “What does my Mentee need from me right now?”

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

So, I was genuinely surprised by his interview on The Louis Theroux podcast when Ed revealed a raw, relatable insecurity: social comparison.

According to psychologists, social comparison occurs when we compare ourselves to others to evaluate our own worth.

Ed vulnerably shared how this insecurity is triggered by new artists entering the fray.

He continued, recalling specifically how he felt when Shawn Mendes became popular in 2013, “I remember wondering, when all the kids loved Shawn, does that mean it’s over for me?”

Ed felt conflicted. He knew Shawn, really liked his music, and was happy for the 15-year-old. But he also felt threatened by Shawn’s success.

He shared this experience with his Mentor, Elton John, who advised, “Whenever that happens, just get to know the person because you’ll always want to root for them.” 

Elton put it in perspective for Ed: It’s not a race. It’s a career. You can release music, and people can like it, and they can come to your shows. But no one is not coming to your show because they’re going to a Shawn Mendes show. They’ll go to both.

Ed leaned into Elton’s wisdom.

He joined Season 21 of the singing competition television show, The Voice, as the “Mega Mentor,” helping new artists grow, not just as singers but as overall performers.

In addition, Ed started a practice of inviting one new singer-songwriter to join him on tour every year. This year, Ed invited Myles Smith, the rising British singer-songwriter, to accompany Ed in his Loop Tour.

Today, Ed chooses mutual respect over rivalry, going out of his way to create camaraderie when an artist releases new music. When Ed heard Sam Fender’s new song, “Will We Talk,” Ed liked it and immediately messaged him with admiration.

Mentors shift our perspective, helping us move from competition to collaboration, from measuring others to measuring our progress.

The opposite of comparison isn’t confidence. It’s curiosity.

• What can I learn from someone on a similar journey as me? 
• What has their experience been like? 
• What lessons have they learned?
• What advice could they offer me as I progress?
• Are there ways we could partner?
• How could I support them?
• What mentoring do they need?
• Who is in their community? 
• How could I contribute to them?
• Who could I introduce them to?

Comparison asks, how do I measure up? Growth asks, how am I improving?

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

• In 1998, she won her first Grand Slam singles title. She was 17.
• In 2002 she became number one in the world for the first time.
• In 2017 she won the Australian Open while pregnant.
• She holds 7 Wimbledon singles titles.
• Her 31-year career makes her one of the longest-tenured elite athletes in the history of professional tennis.

None of this happened alone. Serena’s career has been shaped and guided by mentors: her father, her coaches, her colleagues, and even her sister, Venus.

As she described it in a Vogue article, “That’s how I started to move so fast up the rankings, because I learned the lessons from Venus’s losses instead of the hard way from my own. If I hadn’t been in Venus’s shadow, I never would be who I am.”

In 2014, eyeing her future retirement (vehemently disliking that word, she calls it “an evolution”) from tennis, Serena started investing in startups.

In 2019, Serena introduced the world to her early-stage venture capital firm, Serena Ventures (recently rebranded as “Starfish Ventures”), focused on identifying and supporting overlooked founders.

In 2022, the firm raised its first institutional venture fund of $111 million. It has since funded 16 unicorn companies, including MasterClass, Impossible Foods, and Noom.

But it wasn’t until she became an investor that she felt the lack of mentorship in her life. Serena told Business Insider, “In hindsight, I feel like I should have had more Mentors.”

Today, she is using her role as a VC to not only invest in but mentor entrepreneurs, open doors for them, and help them avoid mistakes.

Her favorite advice to founders:

• You have to show up 28 hours out of 24.
• Success requires extraordinary commitment.
• You can’t underestimate the power of hard work.
• Become a better storyteller.
• Build trust with people before you need something from them.
• Invest in relationships, not just your ideas
• Success is built on people investing in one another.

Career transitions (or “evolutions”) are fraught with self-doubt, confusion, and loneliness. Even one of the world’s best athletes felt the confidence jolt of traversing a new landscape.

When you find yourself in an evolution, lean into mentorship. Don’t tell me you’re “too busy.”

And when you see others evolving, strategically place yourself in situations where you can offer mentoring by virtue of your title: manager, investor, formal Mentor in a mentoring program.

As a Mentor, Serena isn’t transferring knowledge like she might on the tennis court. She’s transferring resilience.

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.®

During dinner recently, my friend James was in the middle of telling a story to Patrick when Patrick unapologetically reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, read his texts, and typed a message to someone.

Undeterred, James persevered, sharing his story until the bitter end while Patrick texted.

Unfortunately, James and Patrick missed the opportunity to authentically connect through their interaction.

In her book, Dr. Brooks offers the T.A.L.K. Framework to better understand and learn from each other in any conversation.

T is for Topics
Every time we talk to another human, we are choosing topics.

Dr. Brooks recommends identifying topics in advance (“topic prepping”) to decrease any trepidation or self-consciousness and increase our presence and connection.

A is for Asking
By curiously asking more, better, and follow-up questions, we can help the other person feel heard, involved, and valued. 

Research shows that asking questions signals our interest in their perspective and emotionally invests our conversation partner.

L is for Levity
Infusing humor, playfulness, and warmth into conversations avoids boredom and disinterest.

Dr. Brooks recommends:

• offering compliments
• expressing gratitude and enthusiasm
• explicitly referencing prior conversations (the “call-back”)
• changing topics (or shortening the story, James!) when we notice someone’s inattention

K is for Kindness
More than being nice, we are kind when we recognize and prioritize our partner’s conversational needs. This includes eye contact, sharing the stage, generously listening, laughing, and affirming.

Back to my conversationally oblivious friends…

Patrick was unkind in this exchange.

• He did not give James any space to contribute to the conversation.
• He asked zero questions.
• He exchanged his utter lack of curiosity for a hefty dose of levity, as if practicing a stand-up comedy routine. At times, it felt like the Patrick show.

James was also unkind.

• When Patrick finally paused for a breath, James eagerly pounced on the opportunity to tell his story.
• But James was unconcerned with Patrick’s obvious inattention. 

With our mentoring partners, we can leverage the T.A.L.K. Framework to ensure each interaction is a source of connection, joy, and fulfillment:

• Prep topics in advance
• Be curious insatiably
• Laugh, be self-deprecating
• Demonstrate attention with eyes, face, and hands
• Take notes to leverage the call-back
• Reflect and share what is resonating during the conversation
• Say, “Thank you for…”

As Dr. Brooks explains, “Focus on the other person, their words, their struggle, their life, their needs.”

Just what every interaction needs: a conversational hug.

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

“Don’t do this to get that. Do this to do this.” 

Unpacking it, he said life is unpredictable, and if you take out the unpredictability, you miss the beautiful moments.

In other words,

• Remarkable moments occur on the proverbial and literal stage.
• We miss those moments when we’re on one stage making plans to be on the next stage.

I’m guilty of ‘doing this to get that.’ The fear of wasting time torments me!

I feel a constant need to invest only in activities that promise to improve my productivity, my professional growth, or my health.

For example, to enhance my dog walks, I often wear a weighted vest, listen to a leadership book on Audible, while drinking 32 oz of supplemented water.

And I once rejoiced in learning the evidence-based, leadership-strengthening benefits of reading fiction. I subsequently devoted a Flash article to announce the finding, as if to officially grant myself permission to pick up a novel.

Why would I resist reading for the love of reading?

According to Ian Bogost, author of The Small Stuff: How to Lead a More Gratifying Life, we have become decoupled from the world we live in, fueled largely by technology’s ability to help us maximize every moment rather than enjoy it.

Our optimization and efficiency culture causes us to believe that anything not focused on a future goal feels not worth doing.

Bogost reflects, “We got so busy planning for the future, trying to make our lives more purposeful or happier, we forgot how to be gratified.”

Bogost argues that, while our grand accomplishments generate our happiness and satisfaction, gratification comes to us in tiny connections to the world.

He holds, “And the lack of gratification has this effect of making us more distrustful, more suspicious of other people. Because we have less of those humanizing interactions.”

When we prioritize AI and technology over our connection to moments and to each other, we miss being holistically engaged with the world.

While I prefer the purposeful moments that Bogost laments, my dogs demonstrate gratification daily. (They scoff at future goals!)

So focused on optimizing my early morning walk last week, I almost missed the gorgeous fox poised like a lawn ornament in my neighbor’s yard.

Fortunately, my dogs, delighted by their discovery, barked me back to the moment. Do this to do this.  

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

In addition to her work in front of and behind the camera, Eva has launched her own fashion and perfume brands, opened a restaurant, and published a cookbook.

When Eva appeared on the podcast Project Swagger recently, she shared her leadership philosophy:

best idea wins.

“Being a leader is leaning on mentors and asking questions. I love gathering people and teams and going, I want to do this. I just don’t know the approach. When someone goes, what about… or why don’t you do it this way? I go, great!”

She went on to emphasize that leadership is about leading other people’s creativity. It’s not about having to have all the answers and being smarter than anyone else.

“It’s about orchestrating an amazing team.” 

Essentially, Eva approaches leadership like a learning conversation, a mastermind of thought partners. She looks to people on her team to mentor her and each other with their perspectives, creativity, and ideas.

Instead of proving herself, she’s producing great solutions which, requires Eva to be vulnerable, receptive, and even patient. 

Ideas don’t flow without a foundation of trust.

• They need to trust that she genuinely wants ideas.
• Trust that she values collaboration.
• Trust that she will appreciate, not judge, their contributions.

This approach is challenging. I’ve been working on it ever since I asked my team to evaluate my leadership (read: When I Looked for Blind Spots).

I discovered that they want me to create the capacity for their contributions. And then invite them to contribute.

I have a propensity for saying yes and improving on the move.

But being an improve-on-the-move driver locks me into finding the answer, rather than orchestrating my team’s creativity.

It’s the difference between being right and being in relationship.

Granted, sometimes being right is imperative. “Best idea wins!” does not work for brain surgery or air traffic control.

But it works magic when we are committed to growing people, bolstering confidence, boosting resilience, and preparing people for change.

The secret is to announce the request intentionally. 

• “I could use some new ideas.”
• “What am I missing?”
• “Could you help me think through this?”
• “I’m open to different perspectives.”
• “Best idea wins!”

Inevitably, it sparks ownership. People support that which they help create.

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

1. Practice aggressive friendship
2. Tailor your plans
3. Be a little bit needy
4. Fit friendship into your existing routines
5. Be an engaged friend

Thoughtful advice to boost our mentoring as well!

1. Practice Aggressive Mentoring.

Catherine Pearson cites Dr. Richard Reeves, who advises, “Call, text, and arrange plans. Don’t worry about being a bit of a nag.”

Vigorously reaching out to connect demonstrates a fierce commitment to the relationship. When you persevere, you communicate your respect for your mentoring partner.

Don’t hesitate. Initiate! You can’t be on a mentoring journey without taking steps together.

2. Tailor Your Mentoring Plans.

Catherine Pearson recommends that we find out what our friends prefer to do when interacting and to intentionally incorporate those activities to help them invest and engage.

Similarly, in mentoring, when you discover your partner’s goals, intentions, and objectives, you can purposely structure and scaffold the mentoring journey accordingly.

3. Be a Little Bit Needy.

Catherine Pearson wrote, “Think about how joyous we’d feel if our friend asked us for help, and we were able to do it.”

Mentoring attracts those of us who tend to be contribution-motivated. We commit because we want to feel connected and valuable to others.

Whether you’re the Mentor or Mentee, ask for a little help. It will boost your mentoring partner’s confidence while fueling their need to contribute.

4. Fit Mentoring into your Existing Routines.

Catherine Pearson cites psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore, who declared, “Consistent contact is a crucial ingredient for friendship.”

Mentoring happens in moments, not in a single, fully produced event. There’s no need to carve out time for mentoring. Simply, weave mentoring into the time you have – shorter conversations, shadowing, sharing meals, walking, commuting.

5. Be an Engaged Mentoring Partner.

Catherine Pearson recommends engaging with friends by intentionally following up on our last conversation.

Be the throughline for your mentoring partner. The generous listening required to ensure you can pick up where you left off after each conversation will elevate your engagement and thereby theirs.

Unsurprisingly, the formula for thriving friendships becomes the formula for striving mentorship. Friendships typically deepen with a bit of mentoring, while mentoring partners often become friends.

But only if you allow yourself to be a little vulnerable and a lot committed.

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.