Category Archives for Blog
[Flash] When TMI Outranks TLI: The Consequences of Not Sharing Enough
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I grew up with the belief that divulging “too much information” (TMI) was a sign of weakness, social incompetence, and a failure to read the room.
And then I discovered the book Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing by Leslie John, a behavioral scientist and professor at Harvard Business School. According to Leslie’s research, the risks of under-sharing are far greater than the risks of oversharing. Turns out that “too little information” (TLI) can be equally harmful to our relationships. When we share something meaningful with someone, we communicate our trust in them because we value the relationship. But when we under-share our struggles or our shines, we withhold ourselves from the other person, leaving them feeling excluded and untrustworthy. Concerned that we might look foolish, weak, incompetent, needy, or unprofessional, we tend to hold back. Our instinct is to protect ourselves by saying less, ignoring the relationship consequences of withholding. During the period when my dog died, my mom struggled with dementia before dying, and my husband battled cancer, TLI became my MO. I pulled back and muscled through the demands of caregiving. Someone who was once close to me angrily described me as “unapproachable.” I hurt her feelings when I didn’t let her in. By not sharing, I announced, “I don’t need you,” the death knell to any relationship. But Leslie argues in Revealing that we don’t just need to trauma-share or dump more information onto others. We need to share information that reveals our humanity. Between TMI and TLI is RI: Revealing Information. RI is not indiscriminate oversharing. It’s appropriate self-disclosure, authentically showing our friends and mentoring partners the work in progress that we are. What gets shared in RI? Our uncertainties, mistakes, fears, doubts, thought processes, emotions, and growth journey. That which makes us more authentic and credible, allowing someone to understand us better. To identify RI, consider:
Revealing our humanity is a trust-building act. By taking this small social risk, we declare to another person, “I trust you with this. You now understand me better.” In doing so, we give them permission to do the same. When we share our wins, wobbles, and wonders, we not only strengthen trust and connection, we allow another person to see our humanity and root for us. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Even Dolly Parton Had Mentors: The People Who Shaped a Legend
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The iconic Dolly Parton passed away this week after a lifetime of generosity, kindness, and, of course, country music.
Dolly Parton is:
But as evidenced by the tributes pouring in this week, her mentoring outsparkled her ubiquitous outfits and eclipsed her amassed achievements and accolades. Shania Twain: Dolly was my “mentor and songwriting teacher.” How did Dolly, a girl from Tennessee, one of 12 children sharing a one-bedroom house, learn to be so unselfish with her time, money, and influence? She was generously mentored. (1) Dolly’s Uncle Bill Owen. As Dolly shared during Bill’s eulogy in 2021: “I wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t been there.” Country music songwriter, Bill is credited as the man who launched Dolly’s career. He taught her how to play the guitar at 8, booked her first performance on a radio show at 10, and scheduled her for the Grand Ole Opry at 13. He tirelessly walked the streets, knocking on doors to get Dolly signed with a record label. Why? He believed in her. “The greatest thing Uncle Bill ever did for me was to help me see my dreams come true, and for that I will forever be grateful.” (2) Country star Porter Wagoner. Dolly Parton undoubtedly lived a star-studded life. But her most indelible mark was made through the mentoring moments she created by lifting others, opening doors, and changing lives. Because people did that for her. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Born to Read. Forced to Socialize. (2026 Book Recommendations)
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My DNF list is unapologetic – I do not finish every book I start.
I am an avid reader, but I don’t enjoy books that I find soul-crushing, insufferably boring, or unnecessarily long. My book recommendation list, however, is highly curated, bursting with books that I found inspiring, uplifting, empowering, surprising, or enlightening! While I am enjoying my annual sojourn to Beaver Island, Michigan, I’m sharing a few of my favorite reads this year. (To see last year’s list, click here.) Fiction for the feels:
When you want to be a better mentor and human being:
When you want to lead like an entrepreneur:
Happy reading! All book recommendations welcome! © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Plot Twist! The Mentor is Not the Hero (A Marketing Guru’s Curious Approach)
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As the author of Building a StoryBrand and the host of The StoryBrand Podcast, Donald Miller helps businesses clarify their messaging.
He deploys a simple yet powerful, albeit counterintuitive, concept: the business is the Guide and the customer is the Hero. The Guide’s job is not to save the day. The Guide understands the Hero’s problem and helps the Hero solve their problem. Miller delineated his methodology in the 7-part StoryBrand framework:
On a recent podcast episode, Miller took a departure from his standard marketing topics to apply the Guide-and-Hero concept to build connection. Miller explored how to turn everyday conversations into magnetic, trust-building exercises where people feel seen, heard, and valued. In our incessant quest to be liked, we tend to overvalue competence and overlook the value of connection. This approach results in talking far more than we listen, dazzling others with our amazing stories. Our conversational partner doesn’t feel valued and understood. They feel ignored and talked at. Miller suggests one question to help us prioritize connection over competence: “What does this person need from me right now?” This question shifts our stance from look-at-me to what-about-you, positioning us as the Guide and our conversational partner as the Hero. As the Guide, we can help our Hero meet their needs, which builds connection and strengthens trust. Miller argues that everyone in every conversation needs something: affirmation, information, validation, solution, wisdom, encouragement, inspiration… How do we know what they need? We can ask. We can listen. We can observe. We can guess. The point is not to be right about what they need; it’s to be curious about their needs. By entering the conversation as the Guide, we can discover how to support the Hero, not impress them with our resume. Similarly, in our mentoring relationships, the Mentor is the Guide, and the Mentee is the Hero. As the Mentor, our job is to understand a Mentee’s problem, show them a path forward, prompt them to act, and help them get somewhere they couldn’t easily get to alone. When trust is the gateway and the linchpin, approach each interaction by asking, “What does my Mentee need from me right now?” © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] When Elton John Mentored Ed Sheeran through Social Comparison
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Watching Ed Sheeran perform on stage makes me believe that some people are born exuding confidence.
So, I was genuinely surprised by his interview on The Louis Theroux podcast when Ed revealed a raw, relatable insecurity: social comparison. According to psychologists, social comparison occurs when we compare ourselves to others to evaluate our own worth. Ed vulnerably shared how this insecurity is triggered by new artists entering the fray. He continued, recalling specifically how he felt when Shawn Mendes became popular in 2013, “I remember wondering, when all the kids loved Shawn, does that mean it’s over for me?” Ed felt conflicted. He knew Shawn, really liked his music, and was happy for the 15-year-old. But he also felt threatened by Shawn’s success. He shared this experience with his Mentor, Elton John, who advised, “Whenever that happens, just get to know the person because you’ll always want to root for them.” Elton put it in perspective for Ed: It’s not a race. It’s a career. You can release music, and people can like it, and they can come to your shows. But no one is not coming to your show because they’re going to a Shawn Mendes show. They’ll go to both. Ed leaned into Elton’s wisdom. He joined Season 21 of the singing competition television show, The Voice, as the “Mega Mentor,” helping new artists grow, not just as singers but as overall performers. In addition, Ed started a practice of inviting one new singer-songwriter to join him on tour every year. This year, Ed invited Myles Smith, the rising British singer-songwriter, to accompany Ed in his Loop Tour. Today, Ed chooses mutual respect over rivalry, going out of his way to create camaraderie when an artist releases new music. When Ed heard Sam Fender’s new song, “Will We Talk,” Ed liked it and immediately messaged him with admiration. Mentors shift our perspective, helping us move from competition to collaboration, from measuring others to measuring our progress. The opposite of comparison isn’t confidence. It’s curiosity.
Comparison asks, how do I measure up? Growth asks, how am I improving? © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Why Serena Williams Mentors Early-Stage Founders
When Serena Williams became a professional tennis player in October 1995, she had just turned 14.
None of this happened alone. Serena’s career has been shaped and guided by mentors: her father, her coaches, her colleagues, and even her sister, Venus. As she described it in a Vogue article, “That’s how I started to move so fast up the rankings, because I learned the lessons from Venus’s losses instead of the hard way from my own. If I hadn’t been in Venus’s shadow, I never would be who I am.” In 2014, eyeing her future retirement (vehemently disliking that word, she calls it “an evolution”) from tennis, Serena started investing in startups. In 2019, Serena introduced the world to her early-stage venture capital firm, Serena Ventures (recently rebranded as “Starfish Ventures”), focused on identifying and supporting overlooked founders. In 2022, the firm raised its first institutional venture fund of $111 million. It has since funded 16 unicorn companies, including MasterClass, Impossible Foods, and Noom. But it wasn’t until she became an investor that she felt the lack of mentorship in her life. Serena told Business Insider, “In hindsight, I feel like I should have had more Mentors.” Today, she is using her role as a VC to not only invest in but mentor entrepreneurs, open doors for them, and help them avoid mistakes. Her favorite advice to founders:
Career transitions (or “evolutions”) are fraught with self-doubt, confusion, and loneliness. Even one of the world’s best athletes felt the confidence jolt of traversing a new landscape. When you find yourself in an evolution, lean into mentorship. Don’t tell me you’re “too busy.” And when you see others evolving, strategically place yourself in situations where you can offer mentoring by virtue of your title: manager, investor, formal Mentor in a mentoring program. As a Mentor, Serena isn’t transferring knowledge like she might on the tennis court. She’s transferring resilience. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.® |
[Flash] The T.A.L.K. Framework: Decrease the Angst in Your Conversations
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I had just discovered the book Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves by Dr. Alison Wood Brooks when I witnessed two friends showcase the need for this book.
During dinner recently, my friend James was in the middle of telling a story to Patrick when Patrick unapologetically reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, read his texts, and typed a message to someone. Undeterred, James persevered, sharing his story until the bitter end while Patrick texted. Unfortunately, James and Patrick missed the opportunity to authentically connect through their interaction. In her book, Dr. Brooks offers the T.A.L.K. Framework to better understand and learn from each other in any conversation. T is for Topics Dr. Brooks recommends identifying topics in advance (“topic prepping”) to decrease any trepidation or self-consciousness and increase our presence and connection. A is for Asking Research shows that asking questions signals our interest in their perspective and emotionally invests our conversation partner. L is for Levity Dr. Brooks recommends:
K is for Kindness Back to my conversationally oblivious friends… Patrick was unkind in this exchange.
James was also unkind.
With our mentoring partners, we can leverage the T.A.L.K. Framework to ensure each interaction is a source of connection, joy, and fulfillment:
As Dr. Brooks explains, “Focus on the other person, their words, their struggle, their life, their needs.” Just what every interaction needs: a conversational hug. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Do This to Do This (Advice from Actor Willem Dafoe)
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When acting legend Willem Dafoe appeared on The Louis Theroux Podcast, he offered this advice to young actors and all of us:
“Don’t do this to get that. Do this to do this.” Unpacking it, he said life is unpredictable, and if you take out the unpredictability, you miss the beautiful moments. In other words,
I’m guilty of ‘doing this to get that.’ The fear of wasting time torments me! I feel a constant need to invest only in activities that promise to improve my productivity, my professional growth, or my health. For example, to enhance my dog walks, I often wear a weighted vest, listen to a leadership book on Audible, while drinking 32 oz of supplemented water. And I once rejoiced in learning the evidence-based, leadership-strengthening benefits of reading fiction. I subsequently devoted a Flash article to announce the finding, as if to officially grant myself permission to pick up a novel. Why would I resist reading for the love of reading? According to Ian Bogost, author of The Small Stuff: How to Lead a More Gratifying Life, we have become decoupled from the world we live in, fueled largely by technology’s ability to help us maximize every moment rather than enjoy it. Our optimization and efficiency culture causes us to believe that anything not focused on a future goal feels not worth doing. Bogost reflects, “We got so busy planning for the future, trying to make our lives more purposeful or happier, we forgot how to be gratified.” Bogost argues that, while our grand accomplishments generate our happiness and satisfaction, gratification comes to us in tiny connections to the world. He holds, “And the lack of gratification has this effect of making us more distrustful, more suspicious of other people. Because we have less of those humanizing interactions.” When we prioritize AI and technology over our connection to moments and to each other, we miss being holistically engaged with the world. While I prefer the purposeful moments that Bogost laments, my dogs demonstrate gratification daily. (They scoff at future goals!) So focused on optimizing my early morning walk last week, I almost missed the gorgeous fox poised like a lawn ornament in my neighbor’s yard. Fortunately, my dogs, delighted by their discovery, barked me back to the moment. Do this to do this. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |